My day started off great! But evening ruined my entire day. Totally. She has been giving me short replies for the past few days and I’m tired of it. I’m trying my best to come out with topics to talk about and she just gave me few words answer. To me, she’s just not interested in my life and just can’t be fucked. She reply for the sake of replying. This fact make me cannot tolerate and not not bother about it.
She committed herself into this r/s by agreeing to be together. Though I do not know how much she has done for me, and I know she does, I still do not see her trying hard to make things work. It really piss me off, no joke. I am here trying to bust myself for her and a mere basic care and concern wasn’t shown, is hard for me to accept.
Many a times, I tell myself to look at the bright side and be optimistic, is seriously a tough thing to do at times when what I see and perceive does not match with my optimism. Have you come across an experience where the situation is real bad and there’s no light to be seen from an optimistic point of view? This is what I’ve been and currently facing.
I keep hearing from people that their r/s is not doing very well and stuff, but I swear, you do not want to be in my shoes. Is totally nerve wrecking and helpless a situation to be imagined. Needless experienced.
First, she told me she’s ready to be in a r/s. But viewing from the current situation, either I’m not aware of the real meaning “ready to be in a r/s” or I’m fooled. Any of the reason, is care and concern too much to ask for? I am not asking for much, just basic genuine care and concern is able to satisfy me for now. I guess my friends around me are more concern about my well-being compared to her. Speechless..
I tried taking myself out of my view and see things from her shoes. I look at the situation from many different angles, still I could not figure what on earth she’s thinking. Only if she’s willing to share what she’s thinking, I’d be kissing the floor by now, eating grass. The problem is, she don’t. Totally shut off and act blur (as though everything was perfectly fine).
I have come to a point where I’m past getting upset, and landed up feeling nothing but anger. Is when you go drinking, U pass the drunk period and go straight from tipsy to sober. This part of my life, is called numbness. Where whatever thing she does doesn’t affect your emotions no more. I don’t know if is good or bad, but being numb at times where pain is trying to influence you is good.
I am totally clueless how this is going to end up. I asked many friends around and all the feedback I’ve gotten are not what I wanted. Coming back to it, why would I still want to cling on? I guess is now a challenge for me to get out of this shit I’ve gotten into and test my perseverance to bad situations.
I guess there’s nothing for me to complain about. This world is about karma. It must be me doing something wrong and this is what I get in return. Ohh well, accept my live and move on. Be a better person next time.
Anyway, Expendables is a good movie. Is funny and at the same time fierce. Worth the money watching.